I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
William Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 3)
If you speak when angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
An egotist is a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
There was a young man from Bellair,
Who was shagging his girl on the stair.
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.
It was a typical triumph of modern science to find the one part of Randolph which was not malignant and to remove it.
Evelyn Waugh (upon learning the tumor discovered in le fils de Winston Churchill’s lung was benign)
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
Clement Atlee, a modest man who has much to be modest about.