Author: Fred Derf

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. – Gore Vidal

Women are made to be loved, not understood. – Oscar Wilde

Clement Atlee, a modest man who has much to be modest about. – Winston Churchill

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this. If William Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity. – Benjamin Disraeli

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In South Carolina and part of her anus in Dallas.

She offered her honor. He honored her offer, and all night long he was on her and off her.